Predictability

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I recently read a few posts about the new slow blogging movement that’s been going around (here & here), and obviously, I’ve been on that bandwagon for quite a while now, since my last post was over a month ago.

Ahem.

Slow as my blogging is, I’m afraid that my life has not slowed down for one instant. It, is, of course, a bit less busy than during the school year, but work has kept me busy. Now that I’m a bit more into the routine of the 9-5(s) that aren’t really adequately described as 9-5(s) (they’re both very different jobs and environments doing some of the same things), it’s time to make a move back towards academia.

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I have a paper that has been both put off and forgotten about for too long, thesis research to get back into. I got a stack of Sherlock adaptations out of the library this evening, wistfully thinking that maybe I would be able to watch them (perhaps I’m yearning to do another Sherlock project?). And there’s the non-academic stuff – Honors orientation schedule to think about (someone elected me president, help!) and a theatre event to work on.

Maybe this is just me writing out my to-do list (it is), but it’s also a reflection on how my summer is about to change. And if God has anything to do with it, I suspect this summer (and this year) will not be as predictable as that list in the paragraph above.

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I’m not sure if I value predictability, or if I’m just unnerved enough by it that I sit there dazed in the corner while it swirls round and round my head. Given my familiarity with the latter description, I suspect that predictability does, in fact, unnerve me. Perhaps that’s why I love academia – because there’s never really boredom in the day-to-day.

Funny story though.

Once upon a time (not too long ago), I thought my life would roll along on the familiar tread of a path trod by many-a-graduating-senior before me. Not too long ago, I was sure of my biggest challenge in life, and knew exactly what lay ahead.

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But not too long after that, God decided to knock me upside the head and remind me that He’s not a huge fan of predictability either (not a tame lion, after all). So for the first time in my life, I’m sitting at a place where I know the next thing I need to do – the next conversation I need to have, or the next thing I need to fill out – but that’s it. That’s literally all I know about my future right now and it’s scary. And exciting, but definitely not predictable. So while I have one more year of undergrad to go, the rest of it is up in the air, as unpredictable as life sometimes should be.

So, friend, I may not be able to tell you what those conversations are or what my next step is. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that God delights in unpredictability because it is where I am most vulnerable, and that is where He has the opportunity to be visibly powerful.

And that’s okay. And perhaps a godsend.

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